"Life Changing" Test

Song I'm Listening To: Typical - MuteMath

I did not intentionally switch the song I was listening to from Justin Bieber's "Eeenie Meenie" to something else so I could write what song I was listening to at the top. Nope, I didn't do that at all.

:-D

Anyway... my blog today is going to be about...

*Drumroll*

My room mate's obsession with Portal! I'm kidding haha.

I want to talk about my Abnormal Psychology class. Today the professor discussed anxiety disorders and how many people concentrate on the "what if's" in life. And it really got me thinking...

I do this ALL of the time. Last year I was afraid I wasn't going to pass this test in my awful music appreciation class... and this is how it played out in my head.

"What if I don't pass this test?! If I don't pass the test, I won't pass the class! If I don't pass the class... I'll lose my scholarship and I'll have to retake the whole thing. Then I'll look stupid and have no money to go to college. If I don't have any money to go to college, I won't be able to stay in college and get my degree. If i don't get my degree, I won't be able to get enough money... well, unless I marry a rich guy, but who'd want to marry a girl who couldn't pass Music Appreciation?! Ah, if I don't pass this class, I'll never get married!!!"

Yeah, it went on to "I'll never move out of the house" and such, but I think going from not being able to pass a test to not getting married was hilarious enough. I then passed the test and class with a higher grade than I expected.

Why did I waste my time with unnecessary worrying? Well, I mean on the plus side it got me to study a little harder, but other than that, all it brought was so much anxiety and lack of sleep... which didn't help with my mood whatsoever.

A little bit of worrying doesn't really hurt anything. It's normal and probably healthy, considering if you didn't worry about anything or have any foresight... then things would end up really badly. However, worrying so much about something that you can't think of anything else or come to irrational consequences if you don't complete something... well, that's just a bit silly.

I'm just saying... taking a breather, relax, and dive in to the task again :)

Wedding Day

Song I'm Listening To: Marchin On/Good Life - OneRepublic

I haven't written in a very long time because of one thing... WEDDING!!!

I've been working on stuff for my sister's wedding for a while now. It seemed so far away at the beginning of the summer. But soon enough, August 13th rolled around...

And honestly, I couldn't have had a better day. Everything was perfect, and my sister and brother in law most definitely deserved it.

I had to wake up at 5:00 am to get in to the church to have my hair done. I packed up everything I could have possibly needed the night before because I don't function in the morning period, especially 5 in the morning...

All of the bridesmaids, moms, and Bethany got their hair done and got dressed in the nursery of the church. It was kind of funny, looking back on it now, but whatever :). I also signed the marriage license (as a witness) on an ironing board sitting in there. :P

Once Bethany was in her dress with her hair up and makeup on... I almost started tearing up then. She looked absolutely beautiful. Seriously. Absolutely beautiful :).

Picture taking was a lot of fun... Bethany and Dustin looked so cute and happy together :)

The ceremony was beautiful. I couldn't stop smiling as I was walking in to the sanctuary at the beginning. The music was amazing (live band, oh yeah :D). Bethany and Dustin looked so unbelievably happy together. When Bethany was walking down the aisle, she had the biggest smile I've ever seen. I was bawling my eyes out by the end of the ceremony, and right before Dustin and Bethany were announced as husband and wife, my sister turned around and gave me a big hug. We were both crying because we were so happy. Apparently we made over half the church cry then...

The reception was also perfect. Relaxed, yet it still had an air of formality to it. People actually danced, which made me happy. I danced with my Uncle Dan! And my theatre directors kids haha.

Honestly the best part was looking around and seeing how happy everyone was. Of course Bethany and Dustin were happy, but everyone else around was about as happy as they were. It was truly a day full of joy, and it couldn't have gone any better, in my opinion.

This isn't really detailed or anything, it's just what's going through my brain right now... It was just an amazing day.

The Last Installment

Song I'm Listening To: E.T. - Toy Box

Note: The song I'm listening to is really, really weird/hilarious.

For starters, this blog contains a lot of Harry Potter stuff, which I know not all of my readers like Harry Potter or have even given it a try. This doesn't bother me in the slightest. My reasons for enjoying Harry Potter are extensive, and the world the story takes place in is no more "unrealistic" than Star Wars or something like that. Just throwing it out there haha. If you are reading this and do not like Harry Potter and/or haven't given it a try, well... just read the blog anyway! I'm not going to give a detailed over view about why it's awesome. This blog will also be split in to parts haha.

Part 1: Today I saw the final Harry Potter film... Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2. It was quite enjoyable and I do admit I teared up several times. *Spoiler Alert for People Who Care* At the end of the movie, Harry has possession of the wand that could make him the most powerful person in that world. He then proceeds to break it and throw it off a bridge in to a rocky ravine. I didn't remember any of this because I haven't read the books in so long, so I was left to question why he even did that.

Then I questioned what I would do if I were in Harry's shoes. What if someone offered me something that could make me more powerful than anyone else in the world? Would I take it? What would I do with that power? I want to say that I would try the awful cliche of "making the world a better place", but would I really know what to do? Would I really know what was the best for every single person on the planet? Would I get big headed and think I was the best person to walk this earth? Would I end up corrupting everything and doing it for selfish reasons?

Maybe yes, maybe no. But it's something to consider. I think it's easier to abuse any sort of power you have over someone than people realize, and I think it's harder learning to realize when you can't handle the power that you do have. I know I've danced the delicate line of being in charge of something and just being bossy. I also know I've danced the line between asking for favors and just plain using people. And honestly, it's just not okay.

I really don't blame Harry for chucking that wand over the bridge.

Part 2: It was weird when the credits were rolling for this movie. Matt leaned over to me and said, "there's not going to be any more movies." That's when it hit me. For years I have watched the books come out and then the movies, and they were always things I really looked forward to. I do have to say, my sister truly grew up with this series, unlike me. Anyway, now that I've seen the last movie, I realize... it's all over. No more books. No more movies. It's finally come to a close. The story is now complete. It is sad realizing that something I've been watching develop for over 10 years now is finished, but I guess all things have to come to a close.

Part 3: I also had a really fun day with Matt today :D. We watched both parts of the last Harry Potter movie, ate at Panera, ran around Best Buy, ran around Wal*Mart, went to Gordon's to buy Bosco Sticks, listened and sang along to fun music, complained about the heat, laughed and told funny stories, waved at a cop that I thought was going to hit us... It was a great day. It really was. :)

I'm not really sure this blog is as structured or as detailed or whatever as my others, but it's my thoughts, and I typed them out now. So here they are. Enjoy.

Thank You, Summer

Song I'm Listening to: Say You Like Me - We the Kings

I love We the Kings. They make me happy, just like the band The Killers. I just ordered the new We the Kings CD today... and the album actually just came out today for everyone who's not on Itunes.

Anyway,

So far my summer has consisted of exactly what I thought it was going to be. I work, and I work a lot. I technically have two part time jobs. One of them is still at the pizza place I've been working at for the past 3 years. The other one is cleaning a family friend's house once a week. Yay for making money! I'm willing to work this much, at least it gives me something to do during the summer instead of sitting around at home. Working at the pizza place has certainly led to some frustration and annoyance, considering I'm left working the front by myself a lot of the times and expected to do a lot of work in a short amount of time. But honestly, at the end of each day, I look back at all of the good that happened that day at work, and I wouldn't change that for anything.

My other focus this summer is my sister's wedding, which makes this summer more exciting than other ones in the past :). I can't wait, especially because I'm the maid of honor! Yay! Bethany and Dustin seem really happy, and it's quite evident that they both love each other so much. Dustin is in Spain right now and Bethany misses him like crazy. I have no idea how she feels because I've never been in her shoes, but I can't wait until my future brother-in-law comes back... because it'll be good to see both him and her so happy to see each other again. Plus, that means the wedding is really soon!

Also this summer I've been treating myself to some of my own "me time," considering I'm one of those people who needs it a lot. Every time after I clean the family friend's house, I treat myself to a delicious Double Chocolatey Chip Frappuccino from Starbucks. It's rewarding after a long week of work (PJ's for 5 days in a row, then the next day cleaning). However, I learned the hard way they use real cream in their drinks... I'm lactose intolerant and I didn't take a pill before I drank it... I ended up with the worst stomach cramp ever haha. Stomach cramp aside, I've grown to really look forward to this little slot of time after cleaning and going back home. Sometimes I'll go for a short drive, like today I decided to drive around Winona Lake for a little bit just to see how beautiful everything looked on this absolutely beautiful day. Sometimes I sit at Starbucks. Sometimes I head straight home and collapse on my bedroom floor. But it's still "me time."

In one of my earliest blogs, I was saying how I was learning about taking time for myself during the school year. Well, I've now learned it's equally important during the summer time as well, especially with working two jobs. However, there's not much time left in the summer, especially with everything I have to do before school starts back in to session. But I do have to say, I love the summer time... and I'm going to make the best of the rest of it. :)

Zelda Logic

Song I'm listening to: Angel - Javier Colon (and Time after Time)

Yes, this is a blog about playing a video game. I'm a dork. :D

This week I busted out The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time again after not playing it for several years. I started a new game (I named "Link" Napoleon this time. Bonaparte or Dynamite, take your pick) and started on the epic adventure once again. I do believe this game and Mario 64 are some of the most popular games or something, I can't really remember anymore. I was impressed that I still remembered how to do mostly everything, especially since I learned how to beat the game just by watching my brother play it.

Playing it when you're 19 is much different than when you're ten, though, as I've learned. When I was 10, I didn't question anything that happened or questioned any of the logic of the game.

The only thing I questioned was why the Hero of Time was wearing a skirt

Since restarting the game now, I'm starting to learn some very interesting things about the Zelda universe:

As a child: 

You can push a giant stone block just fine, but you need a special bracelet to rip grass out of the ground

You go on a great mission to destroy a curse, then learn it was doomed from the beginning

You can tell complete strangers that you have precious artifacts on you

After learning 6 to 8 notes of a song, you automatically know the rest

Rolling a giant lizard in to a lava pit will cool the lava

Destroying pottery and gravestones is totally acceptable

Bats live in underground tombs

As an Adult:

You do exactly what you're supposed to, but you help the bad guy by mistake... in a cut scene.

Leaving the precious stones lying in an open space won't provoke anyone to steal them

Your character is seen as incredibly handsome by everyone... including dudes

Milk that's been in your pocket for 7 years doesn't go bad

Most people won't recognize you after 7 years, even if you're wearing the same silly outfit

You kill ghosts... with arrows

There's also been some great lines of dialogue in here that I never noticed, including:

"Without a fairy, you're not even a real man!"

He's a real man now

And... well, here's a screen shot of what the creepy dude says in the next one.

Link then abandons his destiny as the Hero of Time and becomes a gigolo.

I'm just starting to realize that when I was younger, I never really realized that the pure logic of the game is a little off. Jumping off a giant cliff and rolling on the ground won't hurt you? Cool! Dungeons are inside fish? Cool! If you bust open a rock, money will fall out? That's great!  A guy wants you to take "mushrooms" to an old lady so she can make "medicine" out of it? Yay, magic! 

Maybe now I'm older and have a more realistic view on things, but it doesn't mean I'm not having a blast playing this. It really does bring me back to when I was younger and would watch my older siblings play. That makes me smile. I work so much now and get so exhausted, and sometimes I feel like I lose my big imagination somewhere in between all of that. Dusting off this game and going through the magical world of Hyrule again makes me happy, and even though I giggle at how unrealistic things are, it doesn't really matter. It's a game, and it's a magical land that I'm saving. 

I'm telling you all today, don't lose that inner kid inside of you. It may help keep you sane sometimes. :)

A Bottle with a Lizard On It

Song I'm Listening to: I'm Not the One - 3OH!3

Since it was over a thousand degrees outside yesterday (ok, 90) I decided that it would be a fantastic day to drive to the store and buy some Gatorade and Powerade because I'm absolutely hooked on that stuff. After walking past the creepy man at the ATM at the store and almost slamming in to the automatic door that didn't quite open fast enough, I entered the trusty North Webster grocery store.

I love this grocery store because it's quite run down. The floor is uneven, so in some places, if you forget and let go of your cart, you'll end up chasing it down the aisle. I also have a feeling that the ceiling isn't quite the correct color, and I'm not going to ask how some of those cracks got on the wall. The people you run in to are just as charming.

Sparing all the boring details, I walked out of the store with less Gatorade and Powerade than I thought... because I found another beverage.

Sobe Lifewater.

I mean, come on. I felt cooler and healthier just buying the stuff. There's 0 calories, lots and lots of vitamins, it's all natural, some bottles say "antioxidants" and some advertise how you'll become or remain "lean" if you drink this stuff.

Oh yes. I was immediately drawn in to the trend of buying flavored water with added vitamins and other junk like "citrimax" and ginseng that are supposedly good for you, even though I have no idea what they actually do. But hey, it's gotta be good, it's featured on a bottle called LIFEWATER. How could I have missed out on all of this wonderful goodness?! After buying the stuff (and my Gatorade and Powerade), I felt awesome. I knew I would be a healthier person just by drinking this amazing stuff. And I knew it was good, I had tried it before. I just had never had it for MYSELF before. And now, here it was! All for me!

After drinking my first bottle, I immediately felt like I was being a healthier person because of it. Then I realized I had eaten this right before:

All hail the mighty Heart Attack Burger

A bottle full of delicious healthy drink (that also has adorable lizards on it) will not immediately undo the artery clogging power of the french fried onion, bacon, white cheddar cheese, BBQ sauce, and grease burger. 

Yep. I'm not a healthy person just because I bought some healthy drinks and actually find them delicious. I eat a lot and I eat whatever I want. Sobe can not magically reverse the terrible parts of my diet and make it better. 

Oh well. I'll still buy the Sobe Lifewater when it's on sale. And I'll continue eating incredibly unhealthy burgers if I feel like it. They both make me happy. :D

Fear is Interesting

Song that I'm listening to: Kids - MGMT

Today, I am going to talk about 6 things that I am scared of/am uncomfortable with/just plain don't like and explain why I am afraid/uncomfortable with those things. Why? Because I find the feeling of fear and the origins of fear extremely interesting. I also enjoy making fun of myself. So, combine those two elements and you get this blog post.

Oh, and a quick side note. I do NOT have a phobia to any of these things. A phobia is an irrational fear of something, not just a common fear. Do not use the term "phobia" so quickly. It's one of my pet peeves.

Here we go!

Fear: Ladybugs/Asian Lady Beetles

Gah these things are so disgusting

Asian Lady Beetles make up about 99% of the bugs you actually call a lady bug. They invest homes your homes during the fall and they stink worse than a skunk. They fly around and make a terrible little thud/buzz noise whenever they crash in to something. They pick your favorite spot in the room to crawl up in and die.

Why do I avoid these little things like none other? It originated years ago. One night I was peacefully lying in my bed about to fall asleep. One of these bugs tried to fly in my ear. IN MY EAR. My ear canals are unusually small, so that little monster would have gotten stuck in my ear if it got in. Ever since that night, I have avoided these bugs at all costs and I freeze whenever I see one.

I'm 19 years old and afraid of a tiny bug with spots on its back. I'm less afraid of cleaning the toilets at work than I am of these things. That's just wrong.

Fear: Certain faceless figures

I thought a reason people liked babies were because they look cute when they smile. 

I'm not saying every single figurine or figure without a face creeps me out, but these above do for some reason. Masks that just have black slits for the eyes and mouth scare me, as does anything (that's not an animal) that has completely black eyes. Faceless mannequins can make me uncomfortable if I'm alone in a store with one. 

Why? Well, part of the origin it this TV show. I was flipping through channels when I was pretty young once, and I flipped to a dramatic TV show where this lady could see dead people or something. I flipped to it right when a scene popped up where she saw all of these people with black holes for eyes and mouths were screaming on a bus, and it scared me to death. Another reason is that I have a habit of studying people's facial expressions. It's how I learn a lot about a person, more than what they actually say. No face to study = uncomfortable Sarah.

I still won't go down in the grave to learn the Sun's Song in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time without all of the lights on in the room and a strategy to make a mad dash to the other side of the room. To everyone who isn't a Zelda dork like me, google "Redead" and you'll understand why. The graphics aren't good and I'm still afraid. Go me!

Fear: Sirens

Apparently it's moving so fast it's not even solid anymore

Sirens never mean anything good, period. The sound of sirens doesn't make me cower in fear or anything. They do make me physically freeze up for a second, my stomach will drop, my heart skips a beat, I will stare in the direction of the sound, and I probably won't talk for a while after I hear one. 

This one actually has a legit reason/sad reason behind it. The day Brandon and Amanda died, the air was just filled with the sound of sirens. I remember hearing a ton while walking in to the school that day, and now that I think about it, one of them was probably going to Brandon's accident. I don't necessarily think about that when I hear a siren, that sound just has a really strong link to bad things with me.

I'm not asking for pity, I'm not asking for you to take special precautions around me if one goes off, and don't ask if I'm okay whenever a siren goes off. I'll probably be annoyed with that. Act like you normally would. Just don't be surprised if I don't talk for a while.

Fear: Pitchforks

I can't figure out what's going on in this picture. I'm not going to ask him, though.

Pitchforks. I'm sure they have some useful purpose, but whenever I think about them, I just think about the damage they can do to a human being. I refuse to watch a horror film that involves any sort of pitchfork.

I honestly have no idea what's up with this one or where it originated. I think I just keep imagining how terrible it would be to be stabbed to death with a pitchfork... 

If for some reason in life I was on a bus and the only two seats left were sitting next to the creepy dude giving everyone the death glare and stabbing the back of the seat with a pen or sitting next to the farmer guy in the middle of the bus who had a pitchfork, I'd pick the creepy dude in the back. The scenario is dumb I know, just roll with it haha.

Fear: Spiders

This one was the one that wasn't as scary as the other pictures I googled

Ah, yes, spiders. A common fear amongst many, these little 8 legged arachnids have caused many people to scream like little girls since the beginning of time, I believe.

Too many times I have seen a spider, looked away, then looked back again and it was gone. It's the worst game of hide and seek ever. Yes, many spiders are harmless. I don't care. The feeling of having one crawl on you is dreadful. Just... no. I don't do well with spiders. Especially if it looks like it's walking towards me. I will take off in the other direction. And I mean RUN AWAY!!!

If you've ever seen the movie It, you'll remember that near the end they fight a giant spider. When I was watching it, I curled up in the fetal position on the couch, wide eyed, and scared to death. I was afraid of an extremely fake looking spider. It moved like it was trying to do the robot dance or something. I still was afraid of it. I even think that's dumb.

Fear: Having my back to the majority of the room

This picture tried its hardest to show diversity

This makes me more uncomfortable than anything. Whenever I sit at a table, I always, ALWAYS pick the seat where I can see the majority of the people in the room. I always pick a seat in the back of the classroom. While walking in groups, I try to be towards the back of the group. I sit in the back of church. I sit further back during theatre productions.

Why? I guess it goes back to always wanting to know my surroundings. I don't like the feeling of not being able to see what's going on around me or any of the people around me. It makes me so uncomfortable. I feel extremely vulnerable whenever my back is to a large group of people. The only exception was when I was a senior in high school and sitting in the cafeteria. Apparently my seniority status squashed all my fears hahaha.

So, what are you afraid of? What makes you feel uneasy? And why? I personally think figuring out the "why" is the most interesting part. Just think about that for a while.