Fear is Interesting

Song that I'm listening to: Kids - MGMT

Today, I am going to talk about 6 things that I am scared of/am uncomfortable with/just plain don't like and explain why I am afraid/uncomfortable with those things. Why? Because I find the feeling of fear and the origins of fear extremely interesting. I also enjoy making fun of myself. So, combine those two elements and you get this blog post.

Oh, and a quick side note. I do NOT have a phobia to any of these things. A phobia is an irrational fear of something, not just a common fear. Do not use the term "phobia" so quickly. It's one of my pet peeves.

Here we go!

Fear: Ladybugs/Asian Lady Beetles

Gah these things are so disgusting

Asian Lady Beetles make up about 99% of the bugs you actually call a lady bug. They invest homes your homes during the fall and they stink worse than a skunk. They fly around and make a terrible little thud/buzz noise whenever they crash in to something. They pick your favorite spot in the room to crawl up in and die.

Why do I avoid these little things like none other? It originated years ago. One night I was peacefully lying in my bed about to fall asleep. One of these bugs tried to fly in my ear. IN MY EAR. My ear canals are unusually small, so that little monster would have gotten stuck in my ear if it got in. Ever since that night, I have avoided these bugs at all costs and I freeze whenever I see one.

I'm 19 years old and afraid of a tiny bug with spots on its back. I'm less afraid of cleaning the toilets at work than I am of these things. That's just wrong.

Fear: Certain faceless figures

I thought a reason people liked babies were because they look cute when they smile. 

I'm not saying every single figurine or figure without a face creeps me out, but these above do for some reason. Masks that just have black slits for the eyes and mouth scare me, as does anything (that's not an animal) that has completely black eyes. Faceless mannequins can make me uncomfortable if I'm alone in a store with one. 

Why? Well, part of the origin it this TV show. I was flipping through channels when I was pretty young once, and I flipped to a dramatic TV show where this lady could see dead people or something. I flipped to it right when a scene popped up where she saw all of these people with black holes for eyes and mouths were screaming on a bus, and it scared me to death. Another reason is that I have a habit of studying people's facial expressions. It's how I learn a lot about a person, more than what they actually say. No face to study = uncomfortable Sarah.

I still won't go down in the grave to learn the Sun's Song in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time without all of the lights on in the room and a strategy to make a mad dash to the other side of the room. To everyone who isn't a Zelda dork like me, google "Redead" and you'll understand why. The graphics aren't good and I'm still afraid. Go me!

Fear: Sirens

Apparently it's moving so fast it's not even solid anymore

Sirens never mean anything good, period. The sound of sirens doesn't make me cower in fear or anything. They do make me physically freeze up for a second, my stomach will drop, my heart skips a beat, I will stare in the direction of the sound, and I probably won't talk for a while after I hear one. 

This one actually has a legit reason/sad reason behind it. The day Brandon and Amanda died, the air was just filled with the sound of sirens. I remember hearing a ton while walking in to the school that day, and now that I think about it, one of them was probably going to Brandon's accident. I don't necessarily think about that when I hear a siren, that sound just has a really strong link to bad things with me.

I'm not asking for pity, I'm not asking for you to take special precautions around me if one goes off, and don't ask if I'm okay whenever a siren goes off. I'll probably be annoyed with that. Act like you normally would. Just don't be surprised if I don't talk for a while.

Fear: Pitchforks

I can't figure out what's going on in this picture. I'm not going to ask him, though.

Pitchforks. I'm sure they have some useful purpose, but whenever I think about them, I just think about the damage they can do to a human being. I refuse to watch a horror film that involves any sort of pitchfork.

I honestly have no idea what's up with this one or where it originated. I think I just keep imagining how terrible it would be to be stabbed to death with a pitchfork... 

If for some reason in life I was on a bus and the only two seats left were sitting next to the creepy dude giving everyone the death glare and stabbing the back of the seat with a pen or sitting next to the farmer guy in the middle of the bus who had a pitchfork, I'd pick the creepy dude in the back. The scenario is dumb I know, just roll with it haha.

Fear: Spiders

This one was the one that wasn't as scary as the other pictures I googled

Ah, yes, spiders. A common fear amongst many, these little 8 legged arachnids have caused many people to scream like little girls since the beginning of time, I believe.

Too many times I have seen a spider, looked away, then looked back again and it was gone. It's the worst game of hide and seek ever. Yes, many spiders are harmless. I don't care. The feeling of having one crawl on you is dreadful. Just... no. I don't do well with spiders. Especially if it looks like it's walking towards me. I will take off in the other direction. And I mean RUN AWAY!!!

If you've ever seen the movie It, you'll remember that near the end they fight a giant spider. When I was watching it, I curled up in the fetal position on the couch, wide eyed, and scared to death. I was afraid of an extremely fake looking spider. It moved like it was trying to do the robot dance or something. I still was afraid of it. I even think that's dumb.

Fear: Having my back to the majority of the room

This picture tried its hardest to show diversity

This makes me more uncomfortable than anything. Whenever I sit at a table, I always, ALWAYS pick the seat where I can see the majority of the people in the room. I always pick a seat in the back of the classroom. While walking in groups, I try to be towards the back of the group. I sit in the back of church. I sit further back during theatre productions.

Why? I guess it goes back to always wanting to know my surroundings. I don't like the feeling of not being able to see what's going on around me or any of the people around me. It makes me so uncomfortable. I feel extremely vulnerable whenever my back is to a large group of people. The only exception was when I was a senior in high school and sitting in the cafeteria. Apparently my seniority status squashed all my fears hahaha.

So, what are you afraid of? What makes you feel uneasy? And why? I personally think figuring out the "why" is the most interesting part. Just think about that for a while.