A Bottle with a Lizard On It

Song I'm Listening to: I'm Not the One - 3OH!3

Since it was over a thousand degrees outside yesterday (ok, 90) I decided that it would be a fantastic day to drive to the store and buy some Gatorade and Powerade because I'm absolutely hooked on that stuff. After walking past the creepy man at the ATM at the store and almost slamming in to the automatic door that didn't quite open fast enough, I entered the trusty North Webster grocery store.

I love this grocery store because it's quite run down. The floor is uneven, so in some places, if you forget and let go of your cart, you'll end up chasing it down the aisle. I also have a feeling that the ceiling isn't quite the correct color, and I'm not going to ask how some of those cracks got on the wall. The people you run in to are just as charming.

Sparing all the boring details, I walked out of the store with less Gatorade and Powerade than I thought... because I found another beverage.

Sobe Lifewater.

I mean, come on. I felt cooler and healthier just buying the stuff. There's 0 calories, lots and lots of vitamins, it's all natural, some bottles say "antioxidants" and some advertise how you'll become or remain "lean" if you drink this stuff.

Oh yes. I was immediately drawn in to the trend of buying flavored water with added vitamins and other junk like "citrimax" and ginseng that are supposedly good for you, even though I have no idea what they actually do. But hey, it's gotta be good, it's featured on a bottle called LIFEWATER. How could I have missed out on all of this wonderful goodness?! After buying the stuff (and my Gatorade and Powerade), I felt awesome. I knew I would be a healthier person just by drinking this amazing stuff. And I knew it was good, I had tried it before. I just had never had it for MYSELF before. And now, here it was! All for me!

After drinking my first bottle, I immediately felt like I was being a healthier person because of it. Then I realized I had eaten this right before:

All hail the mighty Heart Attack Burger

A bottle full of delicious healthy drink (that also has adorable lizards on it) will not immediately undo the artery clogging power of the french fried onion, bacon, white cheddar cheese, BBQ sauce, and grease burger. 

Yep. I'm not a healthy person just because I bought some healthy drinks and actually find them delicious. I eat a lot and I eat whatever I want. Sobe can not magically reverse the terrible parts of my diet and make it better. 

Oh well. I'll still buy the Sobe Lifewater when it's on sale. And I'll continue eating incredibly unhealthy burgers if I feel like it. They both make me happy. :D