Zelda Logic

Song I'm listening to: Angel - Javier Colon (and Time after Time)

Yes, this is a blog about playing a video game. I'm a dork. :D

This week I busted out The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time again after not playing it for several years. I started a new game (I named "Link" Napoleon this time. Bonaparte or Dynamite, take your pick) and started on the epic adventure once again. I do believe this game and Mario 64 are some of the most popular games or something, I can't really remember anymore. I was impressed that I still remembered how to do mostly everything, especially since I learned how to beat the game just by watching my brother play it.

Playing it when you're 19 is much different than when you're ten, though, as I've learned. When I was 10, I didn't question anything that happened or questioned any of the logic of the game.

The only thing I questioned was why the Hero of Time was wearing a skirt

Since restarting the game now, I'm starting to learn some very interesting things about the Zelda universe:

As a child: 

You can push a giant stone block just fine, but you need a special bracelet to rip grass out of the ground

You go on a great mission to destroy a curse, then learn it was doomed from the beginning

You can tell complete strangers that you have precious artifacts on you

After learning 6 to 8 notes of a song, you automatically know the rest

Rolling a giant lizard in to a lava pit will cool the lava

Destroying pottery and gravestones is totally acceptable

Bats live in underground tombs

As an Adult:

You do exactly what you're supposed to, but you help the bad guy by mistake... in a cut scene.

Leaving the precious stones lying in an open space won't provoke anyone to steal them

Your character is seen as incredibly handsome by everyone... including dudes

Milk that's been in your pocket for 7 years doesn't go bad

Most people won't recognize you after 7 years, even if you're wearing the same silly outfit

You kill ghosts... with arrows

There's also been some great lines of dialogue in here that I never noticed, including:

"Without a fairy, you're not even a real man!"

He's a real man now

And... well, here's a screen shot of what the creepy dude says in the next one.

Link then abandons his destiny as the Hero of Time and becomes a gigolo.

I'm just starting to realize that when I was younger, I never really realized that the pure logic of the game is a little off. Jumping off a giant cliff and rolling on the ground won't hurt you? Cool! Dungeons are inside fish? Cool! If you bust open a rock, money will fall out? That's great!  A guy wants you to take "mushrooms" to an old lady so she can make "medicine" out of it? Yay, magic! 

Maybe now I'm older and have a more realistic view on things, but it doesn't mean I'm not having a blast playing this. It really does bring me back to when I was younger and would watch my older siblings play. That makes me smile. I work so much now and get so exhausted, and sometimes I feel like I lose my big imagination somewhere in between all of that. Dusting off this game and going through the magical world of Hyrule again makes me happy, and even though I giggle at how unrealistic things are, it doesn't really matter. It's a game, and it's a magical land that I'm saving. 

I'm telling you all today, don't lose that inner kid inside of you. It may help keep you sane sometimes. :)

A Bottle with a Lizard On It

Song I'm Listening to: I'm Not the One - 3OH!3

Since it was over a thousand degrees outside yesterday (ok, 90) I decided that it would be a fantastic day to drive to the store and buy some Gatorade and Powerade because I'm absolutely hooked on that stuff. After walking past the creepy man at the ATM at the store and almost slamming in to the automatic door that didn't quite open fast enough, I entered the trusty North Webster grocery store.

I love this grocery store because it's quite run down. The floor is uneven, so in some places, if you forget and let go of your cart, you'll end up chasing it down the aisle. I also have a feeling that the ceiling isn't quite the correct color, and I'm not going to ask how some of those cracks got on the wall. The people you run in to are just as charming.

Sparing all the boring details, I walked out of the store with less Gatorade and Powerade than I thought... because I found another beverage.

Sobe Lifewater.

I mean, come on. I felt cooler and healthier just buying the stuff. There's 0 calories, lots and lots of vitamins, it's all natural, some bottles say "antioxidants" and some advertise how you'll become or remain "lean" if you drink this stuff.

Oh yes. I was immediately drawn in to the trend of buying flavored water with added vitamins and other junk like "citrimax" and ginseng that are supposedly good for you, even though I have no idea what they actually do. But hey, it's gotta be good, it's featured on a bottle called LIFEWATER. How could I have missed out on all of this wonderful goodness?! After buying the stuff (and my Gatorade and Powerade), I felt awesome. I knew I would be a healthier person just by drinking this amazing stuff. And I knew it was good, I had tried it before. I just had never had it for MYSELF before. And now, here it was! All for me!

After drinking my first bottle, I immediately felt like I was being a healthier person because of it. Then I realized I had eaten this right before:

All hail the mighty Heart Attack Burger

A bottle full of delicious healthy drink (that also has adorable lizards on it) will not immediately undo the artery clogging power of the french fried onion, bacon, white cheddar cheese, BBQ sauce, and grease burger. 

Yep. I'm not a healthy person just because I bought some healthy drinks and actually find them delicious. I eat a lot and I eat whatever I want. Sobe can not magically reverse the terrible parts of my diet and make it better. 

Oh well. I'll still buy the Sobe Lifewater when it's on sale. And I'll continue eating incredibly unhealthy burgers if I feel like it. They both make me happy. :D